Using Ebb in Online Counselling

Ebb is not intended to make difficult experiences disappear. Its value lies in helping the client externalise something, see it in front of them and decide what relationship they would like to have with it.

The client should always remain in control of what they write, whether it is shared with the counsellor and whether or not they choose to wash it away.

How to use the app

For online sessions, send the client the Ebb link and invite them to open it in a landscape browser window. You may wish to test the link, audio and screen-sharing arrangements before beginning.

The client can use Ebb in the following ways:

1. Write directly in the sand using a mouse, pointer, touchscreen or finger.
2. Select Prefer to Type if they would rather enter text using their keyboard. Several separate words or phrases can be added to the sand.
3. Use Undo or Redo if they wish to change something they have written.
4. Adjust the volume or mute the tide sounds if they find them distracting or uncomfortable.
5. Spend as much time as they need looking at what they have placed in the sand.
6. When they feel ready, select Wash Away. A wave will move across the sand and carry the words away.

There is no requirement to press the button. Choosing to leave a word in the sand can be just as therapeutically meaningful as washing it away.

The app is designed not to save what is written. Nevertheless, counsellors should consider the privacy arrangements of their own website, video platform and screen-sharing or recording software.

Introducing Ebb to a client

It can help to introduce the activity as an invitation rather than a task. For example:

“Ebb gives you a space to place something outside yourself for a moment. You can write a word, a phrase or simply make a mark. We can look at it together, or you can keep its meaning private. If and when you are ready, you can allow the tide to wash it away.”

Before beginning, you might ask:

• Would you like me to guide you, or would you prefer some quiet space?
• Would you like to share what your words mean?
• Would you like me to see your screen?
• How will you let me know if you want to pause?
• What might help you feel grounded afterwards?

A client does not have to explain what they have written. A word, initial, symbol or abstract mark may carry meaning without requiring disclosure.

A suggested session structure

1. Arrive

Allow time for the client to settle. Invite them to notice the room around them, the support of the chair and their feet on the floor.

2. Agree the purpose

Explore what the client hopes the activity might offer. Avoid assuming that “letting go” is necessarily their goal.

3. Choose the words

Invite the client to identify a word, thought, feeling, expectation or burden they would like to place in the sand.

4. Witness

Pause once the words are visible. Resist moving immediately towards washing them away. The client may need time to acknowledge what the words represent.

You might ask:

• What is it like to see those words outside yourself?
• Where do you notice this in your body?
• Is there anything these words need you to understand?
• Do they feel complete, or is something missing?
• What would you like to say to this part of your experience?

5. Check readiness

Ask explicitly whether the client wants the words washed away. Silence, uncertainty or hesitation should not be interpreted as consent.

You might ask:

• Are these words ready to go?
• Would you like more time with them?
• Is there anything you want to keep or honour?
• Would you like to press the button yourself?

6. Watch the tide

Allow the wave to pass without immediately asking questions. Give the client time to notice their emotional and physical response.

7. Reflect and integrate

Afterwards, explore what the experience meant to the client:

• What did you notice as the wave arrived?
• What was it like to see the words disappear?
• Do you feel lighter, sadder, calmer or something else?
• What remains, even though the words have gone?
• Is there anything you would now like to carry forward?

8. Ground and close

Finish by returning attention to the present. The client might notice five things they can see, feel their feet on the floor, take a drink or name something they will do after the session. Grounding can help reconnect attention with the present when thoughts or feelings become overwhelming.

Ideas for therapeutic use

One word for today

Invite the client to choose one word that describes something they no longer wish to carry today. Keep the activity brief and explore how difficult or easy it was to choose that word.

Many small burdens

The client adds several separate words representing worries, tasks, roles or expectations. Seeing them together may help communicate how much they have been carrying.

Before washing them away, ask:

“Which of these feels heaviest? Which one are you most ready to put down?”

What is not mine to carry

Explore responsibilities, criticism, guilt or expectations that may belong to someone else. The client writes only what they have decided is not theirs to continue carrying.

Releasing the “shoulds”

Invite the client to notice rules such as:

• I should always cope
• I must not disappoint anyone
• I should be over this by now
• I have to get everything right

They can place these messages in the sand and consider where they came from, whether they remain helpful and what might become possible without them.

The inner critic

Ask the client to write a familiar message from their inner critic. Help them observe it as a message rather than an unquestionable fact.

Before washing it away, explore:

• Whose voice does this resemble?
• What effect has this message had?
• What would a more compassionate voice say?

After the wave, the client could add a kinder statement to the fresh sand and choose to leave it there.

Worries outside my control

Help the client distinguish between something they can act upon and something they cannot control. Items outside their control can be placed in the sand.

The wave does not mean the concern no longer matters. It can represent releasing the demand to solve what cannot currently be solved.

An unsent message

The client writes something they have never been able to say. This may be a sentence to another person, to their younger self or to a situation that has ended.

The client can decide whether to read it aloud, keep it private, leave it in place or wash it away.

Endings and transitions

Ebb can help mark the end of a relationship, role, life stage, habit or period of therapy. Invite the client to identify what they are leaving behind and what they want to take with them.

Grief and remembrance

Use particular care when working with bereavement. The intention should not be to “wash away” a person, relationship or memory.

Instead, the client might release:

• Guilt about something they could not control
• Words they wish had been said
• Pressure to grieve in a particular way
• An expectation that they should have “moved on”

Ask what they wish to preserve before exploring what they are ready to release.

Shame and self-blame

Invite the client to name a judgement they have been carrying. Explore the difference between taking appropriate responsibility and continuing to punish themselves.

This activity should be paced carefully. It should not be used to persuade a client to forgive themselves before they are ready.

Making room

Rather than beginning with “What do you want to let go of?”, ask:

“What would you like to make more room for?”

The client might identify peace, rest, self-respect, connection or hope. They can then consider what currently occupies that space and whether any part of it is ready to be released.

Closing a counselling session

Near the end of a difficult session, the client can place one thought or feeling in the sand that they do not want to carry into the rest of their day.

This should not replace emotional processing. It can provide a clear boundary between the therapeutic session and what comes next.

Reviewing progress

The client can write words representing beliefs or patterns that have changed during counselling. Washing them away may help mark progress while acknowledging that change is rarely complete or permanent.

Counsellor self-reflection

Counsellors may also use Ebb privately after a demanding day, while maintaining appropriate professional reflection and supervision.

Without entering identifying client information, a counsellor might release:

• A feeling of helplessness
• Pressure to have all the answers
• A difficult moment from the day
• Tension carried after a session
• Something that belongs in supervision rather than being carried alone

Ebb is not a substitute for supervision, consultation or personal therapy.

Important practice considerations

Use Ebb within your competence, therapeutic approach and professional framework. Before using it online:

• Gain the client’s agreement and explain the activity clearly.
• Check that the client has a private and reasonably safe place to participate.
• Agree what will happen if the internet connection fails.
• Follow your usual risk assessment, safeguarding and emergency procedures.
• Avoid recording or capturing the client’s words without explicit agreement.
• Remain attentive to changes in the client’s expression, voice, breathing and level of engagement.
• Stop if the activity becomes overwhelming, confusing or emotionally unsafe.
• Allow the client to decline, pause or leave words in place.
• Make time for reflection and grounding before ending the session.

BACP advises that online work should include appropriate assessment, clear contracting and an agreed response to emergencies or distress. BACP: Working online in the counselling professions

A final thought

Letting go does not have to mean forgetting, denying or declaring something resolved. Sometimes it means loosening a burden’s hold, allowing a feeling to move or recognising that something does not need to be carried in quite the same way.

The most meaningful part of Ebb is not the wave itself. It is the client’s freedom to choose what they place in the sand, how long they remain with it and whether the time is right to let it go.